Look what my son did to my new Z4

[ronk]

We have a neighbour who is suffering under the same conditions. No consolations to you but I understand what's happening.

[GuidoK]

Jesus christ. I cant even imagine what is worse, having your car demolished like this or having such a troublesome relation with your child (ok obviously the latter one but still...)

I dont understand why someone would want to hurt his dad so much. Its just way too far away from my own psyche/thought processes.

[Chris_D]

Very sorry to see this OP and hope you can all sort things out eventually.

Resonates with me and something I did to my dad's car when I was 16. I'll spare the full details, not wanting to detract attention from your own situation OP, but suffice to say and with the intervention of third-party specialists and through communication channels that didn't exist before, that we managed to sort it all out eventually.

I hope that if you decide to press charges that the courts will see fit to give him a probation order supported by knowledgable and supportive probation officers/case workers as I and my parents benefitted from.

[GBZ4]

I'm sorry to see that your relationship with your son has resulted in such a violent attack. I realise that he's taken vengeance on a prized possession but at least it wasn't on you physically. Take it from me, time will endure and all will be well in the end.

[hopz121]

Sorry to hear this OP.

Hopefully your son will get the help he needs and one day will be man enough to apologise for the damage and hurt he has caused.

I have a feeling that will be a right off

[Crazy Harry]

OMG I'm shocked - I can't imagine how you feel.....but I think most people on here feel for you.

I'm going to be a little optimistic - in some ways the damage is better than accident damage - you know that nothing is out of line as a result of heavy impact. Straight panels in your colour do come up for sale quite often and for not a lot of money and some do not need repainting; and are all bolt on bolt off so it might well be saveable by the insurance; by yourself or with help from other members.

[Number5]

That's your worst nightmare.
Fail play to you for remaining so calm and reflective on it. - I'm not sure I could have.

[SonnyA85]

terrible thing to happen. hope your family are all okay. it's a mental attack on you all as well as a physical attack on the car.

the car is definitely a write off IMO. however if you want another one you could look into the option of buying it back on the cheap and repairing yourself or selling off the parts that are salvageable on here. i had some slight damage done to my car (1 panel and a door).

and the bill came to £4800 once you add everything up. yours has damage all over and needs a new roof.

i must warn you that your insurance is going to be sky high next year. as your policy will need to pay out. so that means your no claims bonus is gone. you now have a claim on your record too. so it may be worth getting a cheap runabout for a year or two. in the long run that is. otherwise you are going to have to pay for this out your own pocket. unless you seek criminal damages from your son which won't be an easy thing to do.

i do however disagree with someone who posted that he hopes he gets off with a probation order. it's a pre-meditated attack. he knew full well what he was doing. if he gets off lightly then chances are he won't be discouraged from doing the same again in future. yes he needs help and support but he also needs to be held responsible for his actions too. this country as it is is far too lenient on people who break the law or bend the rules. this is just my opinion no offence meant to anyone. i know if that happened to my car i would want the person to foot the bill as well as be locked up. a much harder thing to say or do when it's family so i can't fathom what i would want to do in this position. i know people who have been in this position and they just footed the bill themselves. this was on a £30K car with no insurance too. this happened after bailing the person out of trouble which cost them £20K in pay offs. basically they were always too lenient with him and he just got worse and worse. this is why i believe sometimes the only way back is to be forced into rock bottom rather than be kept afloat.

[derin100]

Good God! This is a complete nightmare. I'm very sorry to read about this whole scenario.

Firstly, your restraint, cool-headedness and clearness of thought under those circumstances is to be truly commended. I don't think I could have held it together with that going on. By doing what you managed to do you avoided anyone actually being physically injured and that's the first and most important thing here.

It's sad that the car has been needlessly ruined...but it is only material damage. The car is replaceable!

I hope that things get better from here on in...for everybody concerned!

[ronk]

Thanks Rob, me too.

Is presently on bail with instructions not to come to village or contact us. I was debating whether to get an old banger for a couple of months just in case. Claire my partner insists no, I should replace it soonest and, that we should not allow someone's awful behaviour to be allowed to affect us or our lives.

I'm not sure, but am leaning toward Claire and soldiering on (I loved that car!!!!)

A friend and neighbour is suffering exactly the same violent outbursts (physical and material damage) from her 27 yr old son. The young fella has huge mood swings - He was and still is a cannabis user. I often wonder if that was the trigger?

[SonnyA85]

Thanks Rob, me too.

Is presently on bail with instructions not to come to village or contact us. I was debating whether to get an old banger for a couple of months just in case. Claire my partner insists no, I should replace it soonest and, that we should not allow someone's awful behaviour to be allowed to affect us or our lives.

I'm not sure, but am leaning toward Claire and soldiering on (I loved that car!!!!)

A friend and neighbour is suffering exactly the same violent outbursts (physical and material damage) from her 27 yr old son. The young fella has huge mood swings - He was and still is a cannabis user. I often wonder if that was the trigger?

more likely mental health issues which are then exasperated by the drug which affects your mind. probably could have done with counselling from a much younger age.

did they suffer any trauma or extreme hardship at any point or go from normality to an extreme? could have happened 15-20 years ago, etc.

not a lot of support is given to kids to deal with stuff that has a major impact on them. losing a parent or a parent becoming extremely unwell etc. support is given to the parent with the condition rather than all affected.

[ronk]

My neighbours lad had no shock or trauma -
They gave the lad all he wanted ie the in voque toys, bikes , Disney holiday and then driving lessons and a car - still he repaid with bad bad violent behaviour!

Some people are born bad I think !
I don't think the weed helps tho.

[jamie_z4]

Marius , do us all a favour and just f**k off

[jamie_z4]

OP very sorry to hear of this, hope you can get the issues with your son resloved amicably

[LordOxygen]

Wow! What a dreadful situation for you and your family.
I hope you're all able to deal with this quickly and move on. No idea what I'd have done under similar circumstances, but I think you did very well letting a lump of metal take a beating rather than put others at risk. Even so, such a shame to see the car like this.